Seattle, You Aren't Helping.

Don't pitty me, I'm where I want to be
Leave when I want to go, stay where I want to sew.
- Corporate Circus - Perfect Disaster

Friends, I'm having an emotional crisis right now at 3am. A crisis of the heart I guess you could say. I see things happening in MLS that disturb me. Not only do they disturb me, but quite honestly they make me feel like this league is taking a turn toward from the genuine to the maddeningly fake. I've seen it in our own ranks Columbus and I'll get to that in a bit, but there's a word that I keep seeing creep up. It makes me sick to my stomach when it is used to describe Major League Soccer because in my mind it is and also it can only be successful if it's completely separated from being this.

The word is European.

Yes. Some of us grew up watching the European game on television or reading about it, but that's not us. It's really not, and honestly... it shouldn't be.

I get sick an tired when I read things on the internet about how people believe that their teams have a European atmosphere, or how folks want to create a European atmosphere in MLS.

Seattle in particular makes me sick. - OOOH We get to go to a meeting with Drew Carey and learn how to be more European!

They aren't the only ones, but I think this idea that Europe is something to "aspire to" is disturbing and counter-productive to the league.

Seattle. Let me level with you. You're riding a high right now. Your team was created out of a combination of marketing hype, a celebrity owner, a gap in the marketplace left by the Sonics and the fact Toronto did so well.

Toronto is a few years beyond you right now and as we can see unless it was "Come Dressed as a Red Seat Day" in Toronto they didn't really have the crowd they were expecting. I know... I know... it was the beginning of the match. How could you possibly expect Toronto fans to be able to tell time and show up when the match starts? ... ... Oh... it was still like that during the 56th minute? Well rats...

Seattle fans, I know you weren't around in 2007 and 2008 so I'll remind you. At the time Commissioner Garber was dating Toronto. He enjoyed their ticket sales and "European atmosphere" Then something happened. He found a prettier date to the dance. I was you Seattle. Garber thought you were hot. The best thing since... well since Toronto. Your atmosphere was more authentic-ish and your fans were more "willing-to-shell-out-money-ish" (which Don finds VERY HOT.)

Then something happened last year. Don took a trip south. Unfortunately he found his new girlfriend while he was there.

Portland.

Here's the weird part. Montreal and Philadelphia have entered the league during this time... I guess Don just enjoys the frequent flyer miles.

Seattle... by my calculation you are a few years away from being Toronto. "Authentic" as hell, but also irrelevant. Toronto sells all their tickets for every match... unfortunately nobody shows up.

Seattle I have the solution. I know how you can avoid a fate similar to the Toronto's of the world.

Stop trying to be Europe.

It doesn't work. Not long term at least. Believe me... we've had our share and are still having problems with this in Columbus this year, but I'm dead serious. Stop trying to re-create something that is inauthentic and instead work on creating something else. Authentic American atmosphere.

The San Francisco Giants would not draw better if they had an "Authentic Japanese Atmosphere". The Nashville Predators would not draw better if they had an "Authentic Canadian Atmosphere"... on the other hand the Boston Red Sox have an "Authentic Boston Atmosphere" and they seem to be doing just fine.

Europe doesn't work in the USA and it doesn't work in Canada. Why not? It's not because we dislike Europe. I love Europe. It's because it's contrived.

Contrived works for a bit... it doesn't work long term. Unfortunately I see MLS moving toward "supporters trusts" and taking individuality away from specific supporters groups. I see "stadium bans" showing up for individual fans or even whole groups. This isn't America.

If I show up to a Cincinnati Bengals game and get in a scuffle with Cincinnati fans because I'm wearing an Indianapolis jersey I can guarantee you I will feel no retribution at my home stadium. Why is that? Because the NFL has learned better than to bite the hand that feeds. I recently heard a story about a Portland fan that got in to an indecent in Salt Lake City. Rightfuly so the fan was banned from SLC for a year. However the same person was then banned from the first few Portland games this season and also the Seattle game in Portland (in the middle of the season).

OOOHHH - How European of us.

It's not that hard to create "Authentic American Atmosphere". Just do what comes naturally. Yes, you can still do chants you stole from English fans. Yes, you can still bring in your [insert whatever instrument you bring to the games now here], but just do your own thing. Stop reviewing film of what Inter's fans did last week to get your playbook.

This doesn't just extend to Seattle fans. You know why Hudson Street wore bandannas for years? It's because HSH wasn't and still isn't about one person. It's not the MLS front row mentality. I think we as Crew fans may have lost our way on that one recently, but I don't think we are so far away we can't get it back.

How do we do this? Simple. Stop worrying about who gets up front and instead worry about indoctrinating the new members of the section.

MLS fans... my challenge to you is simple. Stop trying to be Europe. Be yourselves.

Because it's only when you have nothing in life to lose,
that you are truly free to do whatever you want to do.